Scent Fanatic Pillows

'Here's one that will drive your husband nuts! Ninety eight bucks a bottle.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

'Needs salt!'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Harsh Mellows.

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

Ice Cream Dreams.

'Have you no common scents?!'

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Some scents are nonsense.

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Aromatherapy for Men

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"The antidote is $150."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Pheromones.

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'