Scent Fanatic Gifts

'Here's one that will drive your husband nuts! Ninety eight bucks a bottle.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

'Needs salt!'

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Harsh Mellows.

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

Ice Cream Dreams.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

'Have you no common scents?!'

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

Some scents are nonsense.

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

Aromatherapy for Men

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"The antidote is $150."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

Pheromones.

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

Funky Chef 2