Fragrance Fanatics Gifts

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'

'It's about this aftershave you sold me called 'Pied Piper'.'

'Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potourri.'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

"It's called 'fear'."

Randy, what cologne do you wear? Sorry, little buddy. That's a state secret. I've signed an oath not to divulge it, because in the wrong hands it could wreak havoc. Would-be dictators could use it to boost their charisma by a factor of 300. What's in it. A mixture of my natural musk, sunshine and desire.

"Do you have Eau De Rumen?"

Man with body odour problems using all sorts of fragrances.

My dog's personal line of fragrances.

It's a pity you can't smell it: such a perfume...

Despite pressure from animal activists, Erne's fragrances still believed in testing on animals.

'..Can I interest you in our new fragrance - 'Are''

'Is it safe to wear in an open top sports car?'

'It has a subtle effect. He'll say 'yes' right in the middle of being a royal pain in the neck.'

"Your description of the wine's bouquet was elegant, but are you sure that's not my feet?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

'Needs salt!'

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Harsh Mellows.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Ice Cream Dreams.

'Have you no common scents?!'

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

Men's fragrances...

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

'WOW! This ladies' nav app is fantastic!'

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

Some scents are nonsense.