Fragrance Aficionado Gifts

Colognes for Men

'Mmm. Lovely perfume - is it Kennel no. 5?'

'Do you have something that will make my husband smell like someone other than my husband?'

Something without the sexual connotation, please.

"Evening primrose" "Don't you evening primrose me you sexist pig!"

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'I have a complaint with your 'Irresistible'.'

'I need a scent that will make me reek of a semester abroad in Paris without saying a word,'

'He likes your aftershave lotion.'

Your husband will love this cologne. It has that new car smell.

'I'm afraid my Julian is more the 'Me,Jane'sort of boy!'

'Give me something cheap - she's got a heavy cold.'

'-and once you've got him add five parts water and it will last for AGES!'

'Just think what Casanova could have done if he'd had access to whitening toothpaste and masculine after shave.'

Men's fragrances...

"Yeah, I agree, close, but not 'Chanel No5'! That lady has been ripped off..."

"Something to make her forget that I forgot her birthday!"

'You smell as if you're nearly ready.'

"Is that odorless? No wonder you don't stink that badly."

French perfume, out of odor.

The day wasps discovered there's something about an Aqua Velva Man.

He'll love this cologne. It smells like tickets to a sporting event.

'Actually, he's not corrupt at all -- that's just his cologne.'

Will shave for Aqua Velva.

Fragrances. I don't whether to get my mom the really expensive perfume or just give her the dollar.

"Complicity for Republicans. Impotence for Democrats."

Unindictable

"It's our latest celebrity scent, it's called Elon Musk. It smells like money!"

"I'm due in court today. Do you have anything that smells like community service?""

"It's called 'Eau De Sty', by Countess Slopbucket."

Iowa: the new fragrance

"Leverage', by Goldman, Sachs."