Smell Aficionado Gifts

"Absolutely perfect! How did you know?"

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

Men's fragrances...

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Some scents are nonsense.

Aromatherapy for Men

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Pheromones.

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

Overpowering perfume

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'

"Great Perfume!"

"Why waste money on perfume when his favorite scent is stuffed pork chops?"

"What pheromone are you using?"

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'