Smell Connoisseur Gifts

Burt's love of garlic was making him most unpopular with the other patients.

"Definitely smells better inside."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

The Gettysburg Address in process.

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Aromatherapy for Men

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Jerry Brown.

Cheese Secret

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

A consumer guide to cheese.

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

Overpowering perfume

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'

"Great Perfume!"

"Why waste money on perfume when his favorite scent is stuffed pork chops?"

"What pheromone are you using?"

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'