Perfume Connoisseur Gifts

Esso stand at a perfume counter.

One Scent Sale!

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Men's fragrances...

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

Some scents are nonsense.

'WOW! This ladies' nav app is fantastic!'

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

The day wasps discovered there's something about an Aqua Velva Man.

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Pheromones.

Cheese Secret

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"It's our latest celebrity scent, it's called Elon Musk. It smells like money!"

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

Jane Krakowski

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

"By the way, thanks for the cologne!"

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

Overpowering perfume

"Of course it's not a mirage - mirages don't wear Chanel No 5."

Excess

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"What pheromone are you using?"

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'