Scent Connoisseur Pillows

'Mmmm, you smell good. Is that store bought or did you just roll in a dead animal?'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

I don't think we're ever going to get rid of that coffee smell.

What's the name of that perfume you're wearing? Contempt.

"What pheromone are you using?"

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"It's $85 an ounce, $95 for unscented."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

Two flies driving in a car with a poop air freshener

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

Aromatherapy for Men

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Cheese Secret

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Beer/Wine/Spirits.

"By the way, thanks for the cologne!"

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Candle Moment

'You see?! These cones may keep us from licking ourselves, but they really enhance our sense of smell.'

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'