Scent Connoisseur Pillows

'Mmmm, you smell good. Is that store bought or did you just roll in a dead animal?'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"What pheromone are you using?"

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"It's $85 an ounce, $95 for unscented."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

Two flies driving in a car with a poop air freshener

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

Aromatherapy for Men

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Cheese Secret

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

Beer/Wine/Spirits.

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'

Candle Moment

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

"By the way, thanks for the cologne!"

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

Overpowering perfume

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'