Odor Connoisseur Pillows

Cheese Secret

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

The Gettysburg Address in process.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Man...You age great!'

Redhead

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

Jerry Brown.

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

Wine of the Day Club

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

Whiskey Bottle - Well it doesn't look like a paperweight to me.

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

"What pheromone are you using?"

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"Try getting life insurance when scientists are always supplying you with tobacco."

You are here.

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

'I can drink beer, wine or liquor. I'm a 'hybrid.''

Welcome! Milk Convention!: 'Bourbon, milk chaser- no, make that milk, bourbon chaser.'

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

'We really need to get a new rescue dog. This one keeps helping himself to the brandy!'

"Absolutely perfect! How did you know?"