Scentophile T-Shirts

"Scratch and sniff ... it smells like mimeograph paper."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Canine Scentipede

'Have you no common scents?!'

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Some scents are nonsense.

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Aromatherapy for Men

"Do you smell something?"

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Pheromones.

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'