Scale Strategist Gifts

Frank's Diet Progress.

'I'm trying to lose weight. How much does underwear weigh?'

'....Ahem, Ms. Caldwell, I'd like to have a few words with you.'

Cheating on the Scales.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

Woman uses her crutches to make herself appear lighter.

Woman weighs herself on scales, holding helium balloons.

I decided to put the scale someplace where it would do some good!

"Harold, I think your obsession about your weight is getting out of hand!"

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

Internet Cafe.

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'Well, yes I can see there's definitely potential for growth.'

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

What your guitar says about you.

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

Weight Gain Denial

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

Creative department/Bigger picture department.

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

If we reproduce fast enough, we'll outnumber everybody and take over the petri dish! Divide and conquer, eh?

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

Please seat to be weighted.

Woman and scales.

'C'mon, it's only up to your knees!'

'Your weight second opinion.'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

'Better get used to player rotation!'

'Mom's in the bedroom trying on scenarios.'

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."