Scale Strategist Pillows

'I'm trying to lose weight. How much does underwear weigh?'

'....Ahem, Ms. Caldwell, I'd like to have a few words with you.'

Cheating on the Scales.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

Woman uses her crutches to make herself appear lighter.

Woman weighs herself on scales, holding helium balloons.

I decided to put the scale someplace where it would do some good!

"Harold, I think your obsession about your weight is getting out of hand!"

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

Internet Cafe.

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

Weight Gain Denial

What your guitar says about you.

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

Woman and scales.

Please seat to be weighted.

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

Creative department/Bigger picture department.

'C'mon, it's only up to your knees!'

'Your weight second opinion.'

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

'LIAR!'

'Mom's in the bedroom trying on scenarios.'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

'Better get used to player rotation!'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

Woman on scales.