Scale Sceptic Gifts

Snowman on a set of scales.

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

Coincidence or What?

'Don't hide behind sales figures, Bill. We both know terminating me is philosophically unsound.'

What your guitar says about you.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

Weight Gain Denial

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Science deniers Soc.

Doing Something About the Weather

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

Documentation Please

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.

Woman and scales.

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."