Scale Skeptics Gifts

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

Overweight Woman Cheating On Scales.

Medical Centre - Second Opinion

Show down between woman and weighing machine.

"I've been standing here all day, but there's no change!"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Coincidence or What?

'Don't hide behind sales figures, Bill. We both know terminating me is philosophically unsound.'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

Weight Gain Denial

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

Please seat to be weighted.

Woman and scales.

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.

Science deniers Soc.

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."