Scale Skeptics Gifts

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

Overweight Woman Cheating On Scales.

Medical Centre - Second Opinion

Show down between woman and weighing machine.

"I've been standing here all day, but there's no change!"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Coincidence or What?

'Don't hide behind sales figures, Bill. We both know terminating me is philosophically unsound.'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

Weight Gain Denial

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

Woman and scales.

Please seat to be weighted.

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

Science deniers Soc.