Scale-hater Gifts

Weight Index Scale

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

Weight Gain Denial

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

"I do diet...between snacks."

Please seat to be weighted.

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

Woman and scales.

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'Your weight second opinion.'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

'LIAR!'

'Holding in your stomach won't help, sir.'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

Woman on scales.

'It doesn't matter, Mr. Katz — you're overweight standard or metric.'

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

'You lie!'

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

Shame on You.

Time Scales

Scale SOS!

'Looks like all of that dieting was a waste. You were right when you said you have heavy bones.'

'I love me. . . I love me not!'

'Look, all I'm asking is that you turn your head, and I'll just read my weight to you.'

Weight Loss Cheat.