Scale-hater Pillows

Weight Index Scale

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

Weight Gain Denial

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

"I do diet...between snacks."

Please seat to be weighted.

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

Woman and scales.

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

'Your weight second opinion.'

'LIAR!'

'Holding in your stomach won't help, sir.'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

Woman on scales.

'You lie!'

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

'It doesn't matter, Mr. Katz — you're overweight standard or metric.'

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

Shame on You.

Time Scales

'Looks like all of that dieting was a waste. You were right when you said you have heavy bones.'

Scale SOS!

Show down between woman and weighing machine.

Weight Loss Cheat.

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

Mouse/Rat on weighing machine: 'I squeak your weight.'