Height Hater Pillows

'Apparently it was only his fear of heights that stopped him from jumping.'

Welcome to Everest! No Loitering.

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

Giraffe Haircut

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

"I'm so confident that when I climb a ladder."

"Think of it -- you'd never have to fold another shirt."

"I not only respect women, I look up to them."

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

I always feel so short when you wear heels.

Son measuring his father against the wall.

Tossing for it.

Tightrope Walker.

'Why are you people following me?'

Man to man: 'I turned down a raise because I'm afraid of heights.'

Man on stilts on a date.

'You just grew three inches.'

'It seems like only yesterday that Sharon was knee high!'

'What it like being able to jump so high?'

Height competition - Prize is leg wax.

My New Year's resolution? To no longer suffer in silence. I will moan, whimper, and complain until you resolve to get the heater fixed.

Mountain Sheep Attacking Men Climbing Buildings.

'But mountain goats never get agrophobia.'

'I've always been attracted to tall women. Someone I can - you know - climb.'

Centipedes - 'Wow he must be a hundred feet tall!'

Stilt walking man in bed with his stilts still on

"Bingo Tim: I can get a two-bar signal from here!"

Reaching the Summit

Pre-emptive strike against brussels sprouts.

Why Do We Always Want Something Better For Our Children Than What We Had For Ourselves?

Visual gag (a small microsurgeon's office).

The Joel Garner Guest XI take to the field

Man on stilts on cell phone.

"Go on. It's just a formality."