Spectacle Skeptic Gifts

When will you admit you need glasses.

'Bob was horrified when he realised that he'd mixed up the perscriptions'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"God works in mysterious ways."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

Weight Gain Denial

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

"This is all so ARBITRARY!"

Woman and scales.

Please seat to be weighted.

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

"You wanted to miss the Matisse show."

'Your weight second opinion.'

Rational explanations

'LIAR!'

"Birthday? No? Anniversary?

'Magazine, yes. Book, maybe. Musical dance - never in a million!'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'Free wi-fi for husbands.'

"This is the worst parade ever."

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

"For the last time-empty your pockets before you put your robe in the wash."

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

'You lie!'

'We'd like to return it. There wasn't any on-screen chemistry between us.'

'Dang it Sharif, I told you we shouldn't built the jacuzzi on an ancient bee burial ground.'

"I'm dating an exorcist..!"

"I am not a witch. . . I'm not! . . . And if you set that wood on fire, I'll turn you into a toad!"