Miracle Skeptic Gifts

"Wine? Laddie, he'll have my attention when he can change water into Scotch!"

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Tiny Visions

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"That's my boy!"

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"Holy water, holy water...."

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

'Waiter, there's a mysterious stain on this napkin.'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"Are you sure you sent out those invitations?"

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

'Fish and bread? That's it? Seriously?'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"