Heavenly Skeptic Gifts

Merged Afterlives

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

House of Wishful Thinking

Actual Results May Vary

'So help me, which god?'

Heaven's Cattlegrid.