Heavenly Skeptic Gifts

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

House of Wishful Thinking

"Is it always so cloudy?"

Actual Results May Vary

'So help me, which god?'

'So it wasn't b*****t after all.'

Heaven's Cattlegrid.