Heavenly Thinker Gifts

You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers.

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"It's not as friendly here as I thought it would be!"

'Talk about perennial doubt?'

'I was afraid of this -- the evolution protocols are just confusing them.'

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

I can't believe my guardian angel talked me into staying home.

Heaven II

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"I do tech support for the cloud."

A man looks up at the earth

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"I don't see HIS name on it."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

'What did He do before he was God?'

"I opted for the upgrades."

Geese and Angels

Cherub on a cloud

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'I think that's always how it's been!'

Life on cloud 8

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

Cherub string quartets

They couldn't Convince Jimmy, the Smoke-Detector Salesman, that he hadn't gone to Heaven

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

'You needn't of bothered, it grows on trees up here.'

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

'To be honest, I think it's a bit of a let down up here.'

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."