Spectacle Skeptic Prints

When will you admit you need glasses.

'Bob was horrified when he realised that he'd mixed up the perscriptions'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"God works in mysterious ways."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

Weight Gain Denial

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

Please seat to be weighted.

"This is all so ARBITRARY!"

Woman and scales.

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

"You wanted to miss the Matisse show."

'Your weight second opinion.'

'LIAR!'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'Magazine, yes. Book, maybe. Musical dance - never in a million!'

Rational explanations

'Free wi-fi for husbands.'

"This is the worst parade ever."

"I am not a witch. . . I'm not! . . . And if you set that wood on fire, I'll turn you into a toad!"

"I'm dating an exorcist..!"

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

'We'd like to return it. There wasn't any on-screen chemistry between us.'

'It's probably just a weather balloon.'

'Dang it Sharif, I told you we shouldn't built the jacuzzi on an ancient bee burial ground.'

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"For the last time-empty your pockets before you put your robe in the wash."

'You lie!'

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'