Sausage Slicer Gifts

Cooks

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

'Come and get it!'

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Dog begging for a sausage

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

It was the easy listening that the free range sausages seemed to find most soothing.

Hot dog warmer

Bangers and Mash

'Boy am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

'No, we can't issue restraining orders to dogs.'

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

Bed or breakfast.

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

'You can't do this! I'm a cumberland sausage, I have protected status!'

Sausage

"See, this is what happens if you're not a good boy!"

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"

A trio of local sausages.

Woman walking sausage dog.