Sausage Sampler Gifts

'I've completed my inspection. You've got termites...I had no idea they were carnivores.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Sauce for the Goose

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

'Come and get it!'

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

'Diet considerations.'

Sinking Sand

Sausages!

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Where Summer Sausage Comes From...

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Dog begging for a sausage

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

'Mr. Hillshire seems to have taken a turn for the 'wurst'.'

It was the easy listening that the free range sausages seemed to find most soothing.

'Boy am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Bangers and Mash

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

'No, we can't issue restraining orders to dogs.'

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

Wieners Sausages.

'Do not look within. Trust me, you don't want to know what's in there.'

Bed or breakfast.

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"

'You can't do this! I'm a cumberland sausage, I have protected status!'

A trio of local sausages.

Cooks