Sausage Sampler Pillows

'I've completed my inspection. You've got termites...I had no idea they were carnivores.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Sauce for the Goose

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'Come and get it!'

'Diet considerations.'

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Sinking Sand

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Dog begging for a sausage

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

It was the easy listening that the free range sausages seemed to find most soothing.

Bangers and Mash

'Boy am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

'No, we can't issue restraining orders to dogs.'

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

Bed or breakfast.

Cooks

'You can't do this! I'm a cumberland sausage, I have protected status!'

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"

"See, this is what happens if you're not a good boy!"

Woman walking sausage dog.