Sausage Gifts

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

'Just bring a few hundred sausages, plenty of wine and of course your barbeque.'

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Dog begging for a sausage

It was the easy listening that the free range sausages seemed to find most soothing.

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

'No, we can't issue restraining orders to dogs.'

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

Bangers and Mash

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

'Boy am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Bed or breakfast.

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"

A trio of local sausages.

Sausage

'You can't do this! I'm a cumberland sausage, I have protected status!'

Woman walking sausage dog.

"See, this is what happens if you're not a good boy!"

Department of Redundancy Department - 'Hot Dog' Frank Wiener, Director

"Darned Copycats!"