Satirical Voyageur Gifts

'Mortgage investor's cruise? Pier 7--welcome aboard!'

Carefree luggage.

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Camping holidays in the British summer.

Public footpath on a desert island.

"You have arrived at your destination."

"All the other passengers have collected and gone so well just have to admit they're ours!"

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

The puppet master

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

The Height of Impudence.

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

Your Luggage

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

Moses Lost in the Desert....Year 40

That GPS was a real bargain!

St Peter at gates of Heaven tells thuggish looking man: 'You're in the wrong place, alright. Let me guess: sat nav?'

'I hope i did leave the faucet running so the water will put out the fire from the stove I left on.'

"Hey, buddy, wouldn't the Grand Canal be faster?"

Is removing the lid fm a jar of pickles easier in zero gravity?

SS Norovirus of the Seas.

Acmeville welcomes you to leave your carbon footprint here.

Moon Vacuuming

"Did you put out the fire before we left?"

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?

ACE Airlines. Ask about our frequent flier bonus plan. I think it's nice of the airlines to give frequent fliers a free ticket to anywhere. They can go get their luggage.

Ca you find Pompeo on a map?

"This year let's take our vacation at the sewage treatment plant."

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

'We had an all-inclusive-holiday. Bad weather, lousy food, arrogant waiters, crappy hotel and outrageous prices - all that was included.'

'This isn't a fortune cookie. It's a WikiLeak!'

'The hotel has no vacancies. However, there are a couple old F.E.M.A. mobile home behind the hotel.'

'I'll look, sir, but I'm not sure there IS any place where they've never heard of America.'