Satirical Voyageur Pillows

'Mortgage investor's cruise? Pier 7--welcome aboard!'

Carefree luggage.

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Camping holidays in the British summer.

Public footpath on a desert island.

"You have arrived at your destination."

"All the other passengers have collected and gone so well just have to admit they're ours!"

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

The puppet master

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

The Height of Impudence.

Your Luggage

St Peter at gates of Heaven tells thuggish looking man: 'You're in the wrong place, alright. Let me guess: sat nav?'

That GPS was a real bargain!

'I hope i did leave the faucet running so the water will put out the fire from the stove I left on.'

SS Norovirus of the Seas.

"Did you put out the fire before we left?"

Is removing the lid fm a jar of pickles easier in zero gravity?

Acmeville welcomes you to leave your carbon footprint here.

"Hey, buddy, wouldn't the Grand Canal be faster?"

Moon Vacuuming

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

Ca you find Pompeo on a map?

"This year let's take our vacation at the sewage treatment plant."

'We had an all-inclusive-holiday. Bad weather, lousy food, arrogant waiters, crappy hotel and outrageous prices - all that was included.'

'The hotel has no vacancies. However, there are a couple old F.E.M.A. mobile home behind the hotel.'

'This isn't a fortune cookie. It's a WikiLeak!'

"Okay, maybe I did run that red light a little. But in my defence, I was too drunk to notice."

'I'll look, sir, but I'm not sure there IS any place where they've never heard of America.'