Satirical Sojourners Pillows

'The monthly charge isn't bad but the roaming fees are killing me.'

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"You have arrived at your destination."

"My bouche was not amused."

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

Now entering: Space. Population - wouldn't you like to know.

Death Takes A Time-Share

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

'Would sir like to start with the hors d'oeuvres, or just go to the main corpse?'

'I'd like to spend November and December in a nice vegetarian country!'

School of Comparative Anatomy

Suburban blues legends

Earl's guaranteed two-step program for managerial success.

You heard of the 'drugs tsar' and the 'fat tsar'...well this is the new 'waiting room tsar!'

"This rush-rush life is getting old. Sometimes, I think about moving back to the land where I way born. What do you think, Baldo? What would you miss the most?"

"Heh heh heh!"

Hell/Paradise

Mild in the Streets

'Maybe now you'll admit that we're lost!?'

Acmeville welcomes you to leave your carbon footprint here.

Southwest Hampton

SS Norovirus of the Seas.

"Of course it's not safe. That's why I'm here."

Alice in Wonderland: Flamingo Croquet.

"This year let's take our vacation at the sewage treatment plant."

"He's not a third- rate second-rate artist. He's a first-rate third-rate artist."

'We had an all-inclusive-holiday. Bad weather, lousy food, arrogant waiters, crappy hotel and outrageous prices - all that was included.'