Satirical Traveler Gifts

"You have arrived at your destination."

'We had an all-inclusive-holiday. Bad weather, lousy food, arrogant waiters, crappy hotel and outrageous prices - all that was included.'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

"Jobbymoons" For The Rest of Us

SS Norovirus of the Seas.

Acmeville welcomes you to leave your carbon footprint here.

"A holiday? Oh no - we just wanted to go somewhere that gives us a choice over Europe."

"This year let's take our vacation at the sewage treatment plant."

"I was hoping this place would have a travel ban in place."

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

Camping holidays in the British summer.

Public footpath on a desert island.

"That reminds me. . . did you remember to pack the viagra?"

Steve found himself on his travels.

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

"All the other passengers have collected and gone so well just have to admit they're ours!"

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

'It's a surprise for my husband, he isn't going.'

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

'Welcome to 'Business class'...'

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

"Well, they did say half-board."

Your Luggage

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

"I'd like to go somewhere with warm water, balmy breezes and no extradition treaty."

'Oh look! We must be coming into land at Heathrow.'

'I hope i did leave the faucet running so the water will put out the fire from the stove I left on.'

"Enough already with the TripAdvisor reviews."

'You had a long nap.'

"Did you put out the fire before we left?"

"We'd like to go somewhere that will provide us with a rich source of after dinner anecdotes!"

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?