Snarky Traveler Gifts

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Camping holidays in the British summer.

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

Public footpath on a desert island.

"That reminds me. . . did you remember to pack the viagra?"

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

Steve found himself on his travels.

"You have arrived at your destination."

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

'I'm sorry, did you say you wanted to try fresh sugarcane.'

"All the other passengers have collected and gone so well just have to admit they're ours!"

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"A large donation usually calms him down."

Stonehenge Imitation

'Welcome to 'Business class'...'

"The whole thing's much smaller than it seemed on TV."

'It's a surprise for my husband, he isn't going.'

"I learned how to pack small. I bought Brad a big suitcase."

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

Your Luggage

"Well, they did say half-board."

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

'No, I'm afraid we're dull. But we do have two vacancies in the Kitchen.'

Maps to the house arrests of the stars

Showing a little leg wasn't getting him anywhere.

'This will hurt you more than it will hurt me.'

'Look, I didn't know they had salad bars on these flights...'

Lost Luggage/Lost Passengers