Snarky Traveler T-Shirts

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Camping holidays in the British summer.

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

Public footpath on a desert island.

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

Steve found himself on his travels.

"You have arrived at your destination."

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

"All the other passengers have collected and gone so well just have to admit they're ours!"

'I'm sorry, did you say you wanted to try fresh sugarcane.'

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"A large donation usually calms him down."

Stonehenge Imitation

'It's a surprise for my husband, he isn't going.'

"The whole thing's much smaller than it seemed on TV."

'Welcome to 'Business class'...'

"I learned how to pack small. I bought Brad a big suitcase."

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"Well, they did say half-board."

Your Luggage

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

Showing a little leg wasn't getting him anywhere.

'No, I'm afraid we're dull. But we do have two vacancies in the Kitchen.'

"I'd like to go somewhere with warm water, balmy breezes and no extradition treaty."

'Look, I didn't know they had salad bars on these flights...'

'Oh look! We must be coming into land at Heathrow.'

Maps to the house arrests of the stars

'This will hurt you more than it will hurt me.'