Satirical Justice Gifts

"So, I understand we're shifting our focus from maximum profits to minimum security."

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Yawning barristers in court

'He started it!'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"I got probation."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

The annual running of the lawyers.

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

'I hope you don't mind. To save time and money, we've sworn in the firing squad as the jury.'

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

'Ladies and Gentlemen of the press- what is your verdict...?'

"Certainly you're entitled to justice, if you can show that you deserve it."

TOO SLOW

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

"Twenty years? What ever happened to revolving-door justice?"

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

'Is your client qualified to give a urine sample.'

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

"Before we begin today, may I say that both my client and I were astonished that Your Honor was not nominated for the Supreme Court?"

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

'Not guilty by reason of millions of years of evolutionary selection for aggressive behavior, Your Honor.'

'My client wasn't going to keep the money, Your Honor - He only robbed the bank to get on a reality show.'

'I'm not kidding....my client is really insane!'

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to have your butt kicked.'

Must you be so judgmental?

The Supreme Flip Flop!

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- Guns don't have power surges!'