Judiciary Satire Fan Gifts

'I don't know about you guys, but my mail has been running two to one against the constitution.'

Yawning barristers in court

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Antonin Scalia

'That's the lawyer in me trying to get out.'

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

The annual running of the lawyers.

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

'I'd say you have a water-tight case there, boys.'

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'I wasn't expecting this when they said they wanted to settle out of court!!'

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

'Ladies and Gentlemen of the press- what is your verdict...?'

Man behind desk has glass case with Lawyer Repellant

'Anyone who's troubled by viewing the victim's corpse is free to leave the courtroom at this time.'

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

"So Mr. Garvin asked, did we all have an understanding in writing? And I said, maybe we can talk about that."

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

Equal Time for All Christians

"We would like to request a change of venue to an entirely different legal system."

'He's competent in every regard, except to stand trial.'

10K Ambulance Chase

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

"Got outta jury duty!"

'My client wasn't going to keep the money, Your Honor - He only robbed the bank to get on a reality show.'

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

How do you plead on charges of horsing around and playing the goat?

'I've got an injury claim solicitor to advertise on your soles.'

Should I be encouraged by your robe, your honor? No. It's just laundry day. Have a nice verdict.

'May the groom kiss the bride?'