Legal Satire Fan Gifts

'Here's a copy of our new triage plan...the order is now walking wounded first, the dying and dead second, lawyers last...'

'The short one is the surgeon -- the others are a team of highly skilled malpractice lawyers.'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

'It wasn't a loan, Judge. He said it was a gift!'

'He's competent in every regard, except to stand trial.'

'Nice Shot-right into the middle of that foursome of personal injury lawyers...'

"O.K., so you had to break a few eggs to make an omelette, but now some of those eggs are suing."

"This is my lawyer. He's here to witness the promises you make, which will constitute a verbal contract."

"In a case like this, a lot depends on which jurisdiction applies. Were you, by any chance, in international waters when you bit him?"

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

Three tired gentleman in a courtroom.

Lawyers - He defends widows and orphans, unless he is attacking widows and orphans

"Here's a new bill to pay. . . intellectual property tax!"

'If you lose my briefs you can answer to the Judge!'

Humpty Dumpty worried about malpractice lawsuit.

"In addition to the planning issue, EU directive states that washing ones partner is public is also an offence."

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

'Prisons are overcrowded and a drag on the economy, so I'm sentencing you to six months of jury duty.'

If that slips off and I break a leg, you'll be hearing from my lawyer.

'Can you sue someone for being a girl?'

'My client pleads 'guilty,' Your Honor, but admits to no wrongdoing.'

'I think you're okay, but let me run it by my malpractice attorney.'

'Where you will be hanged until 'deadish'.'

'A working vacation, your honor?'

Need to know basis

'Objection! That could be anybody's footprint!'

'Cold today, isn't it?' - 'Yes, I actually saw a solicitor with his hands in his own pockets.'

Restraining order.

'My trial marriage was dismissed for lack of evidence.'

'Here's another PRIVACY-INVASION LAWSUIT against you.'

"Good. I was hoping for someone who could talk under water!"

"You work in the U.S. Attorney General's office? You have Redactor's Elbow."

"In closing submissions, the defence would like to bring to the court's attention, my client's impressive collection of 'get out of jail' cards."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"