Social Justice Satirist Gifts

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

"I'd love to fight racism but it's just so much easier to eat ice cream."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

The prying mantis,

"Yes, one is a dog."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Horse statue throws off rider.

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"I'm after the history section."

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

Inhospitality tent.

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

Dear (some of) my fellow lefties. . . shut up and get the hell off my side.

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

"All the better to ignore you with."

Wine tasters...

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

"Certainly you're entitled to justice, if you can show that you deserve it."

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Pizzas