Sassy Sage Gifts

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Running shoes? You have the wrong idea about "fasting," Brother Ernest!

Fumes from furniture

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

Mitch learns he is not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

Saguaro Cacti.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

I'm Aging Gracefully...so SHUT UP!!!

'It will cure every ailment known to man, the only side effect is, you'll choke to death trying to swallow it.'

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."

"You're dated look is an absolute tour de force."

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

"You know you have a weak heart, mom. Sit down on your favorite rocking chair and just it easy."

'It's like this, Harry -- I'm in the full bloom of life, and I don't need any more of your fertilizer.'

"It says we're incompatible, I'm Virgo and you're stupid."

"In other words homogenius."

"Dad, read us a story" "Ask your Mom" "Origin of Mother Goose"

"It's not real meditation when you SMIRK like that!"

'Oh, Goddess of Fashion, speak to me!'

'I'd sooner be dead than be buried here...'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

"Whistleblowers have nothing to fear in this department and if you need proof just ask the caretaker, our former head of services!"

"Look Baldo, I know I'm your 'boss'...but nothing has really 'changed'."

'I don't get it. How can you say Leno is better than Letterman?'

'I don't have any friends....even when I tried to find one on Facebook, no one even there wanted to be a Facebook Friend!'

"Really, there was no need to regurgitate the whole thing."

Are your cowhide coats any good?

"Actually, I wasn't paying any attention to what you just said, but I LOOK interested and engaged, don't I? Cosmetic Eyebrow Surgery!! It's totally changed my LIFE!!"