Sassy Dieters Gifts

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

Stand back - while I whip something up

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?' 'It never eats.'

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

'I envy your metabolism.'

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

'I've got a problem.'

Healthy Witch Digest

'Can you believe this? Now some food faddists want 'nectar-free' honey.'

'Two more strawberry creams and that's my ' five a day' taken care of....'

'None for me...I'm trying to eat healthy.'

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

Obesity problems in the UK.

Church of the Low-Carbs

'Fred, don't you think it's time you went on a diet?'

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

"THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO GET IN SHAPE."