Sassy Banter Buff Pillows

"Sleazy listening FM. We always lower the tone."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Cat Nip.

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

'He does lack social skills.'

Cheeze Wiz.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"I have no thumbs."

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

The Golfing Accident

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

Wedding disaster #27.

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

"And would you like flies with that?"

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

Milk Bar - "Don't you think you've had enough?"

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Pope tarts.

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"I've told you kids - that's not a toy!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

"Beware of God"

'Ah, business as usual.'

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

The Quotable Ben Franklin. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. And not flying thy kite during thunderstorms might help, too!