Boastful Banter Buff Pillows

'Oh yeah, well, MY DADDY can scare ELEPHANTS!'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

Cat Nip.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

'He does lack social skills.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"I have no thumbs."

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

The Golfing Accident

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

"And would you like flies with that?"

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

"I've told you kids - that's not a toy!"

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

"Beware of God"

'Ah, business as usual.'

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."