Boastful Banter Lover Pillows

Albatross bragging about his latest catch...

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

An Archeologic Dig

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

The Gilmore Girls

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Yes, you look presentable. Now get on!"

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'Here comes Ted.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

'Oh yeah, well, MY DADDY can scare ELEPHANTS!'

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'