Santa Myth Debunker Pillows

No one cares any more whether you believe in Santa or not...these days it's all about climate change!!

Punk Reindeer

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

For instance, a $25 delivery charge. You'd clean up right there.

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

"I'm like most people, I guess––a mixture of good and bad."

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

Santa Elevator

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

'Trick or treat.'

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

It happened on Christmas Eve

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

I brake for Jetliners.

"I want my job back."

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

"Another one asking me to fix the climate crisis."

About Santa 2017.

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

'I'm facing unemployment! The world is running out of nice kids!'

Don't fly and text.

"It's unrealistic for us to have a chimney, tree, or stockings, so you can forget about Santa."

'My dad, says you're not the real Santa. He said, you're just some fella off the dole.'

"I want to cancel my 3 o'clock and my 4 o'clock, and oh! I want to cancel my 1:30!"

'That stuff about elves helping me is a lot of baloney. I have a research center in Silicon Valley and an electronics plant in New England.'

Santa: 'Of course I'm a vampire! How else could I have lived for 300 years?'

'He sees me when I'm sleeping, he knows when I'm awake...'

'I'm going to tell him I've been good on the chance that my reputation hasn't preceded me.'

"I wonder how Santa got my pony into such a small box?"

"Well... I don't believe in you either!"