Christmas Lore Debunker Pillows

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'I hate all holidays!'

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

It happened on Christmas Eve

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

T'was the night before the night before Christmas.

Santa's elevator

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

"I'm sorry, Rudolph, but empathetic soulsource crystal navigation has made that nose of yours pretty much obsolete."

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

'I've been thinking about this whole Santa thing.'

Chimney-Greasing Santa

Christmas Sale Special

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

'Is there really a Santa Claus? That depends - are we talking about the man or the brand?'

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

"Looks like we won't be needing you this year...we got our own gifts!"

Santa Claus does not exist - Satan

'Go to bed. I'm too busy to get into a debate over whether or not I exist.'

Christmas: Let's get it over with.

'Tell us how the big guy really finances this free toy give away scam and we might be willing to cut you a deal.'

'So you were born in a manger. This is a primitive area. I was born in a chicken coop.'

Ho jo to ho ho ho

No one cares any more whether you believe in Santa or not...these days it's all about climate change!!