Christmas Lore Debunker Pillows

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'I hate all holidays!'

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

'My brother got all the glory. For me it was Randolph with your nose so pink, you really make my sleigh team stink.'

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

It happened on Christmas Eve

T'was the night before the night before Christmas.

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

Santa's elevator

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

"I'm sorry, Rudolph, but empathetic soulsource crystal navigation has made that nose of yours pretty much obsolete."

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

'For the last time...turn that light off and go to sleep!'

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

Gingerbread Men Fear Santa.

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

Chimney-Greasing Santa

Christmas Sale Special

'I've been thinking about this whole Santa thing.'

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

'Is there really a Santa Claus? That depends - are we talking about the man or the brand?'

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

"Looks like we won't be needing you this year...we got our own gifts!"

Santa Claus does not exist - Satan

'Go to bed. I'm too busy to get into a debate over whether or not I exist.'

Christmas: Let's get it over with.

No one cares any more whether you believe in Santa or not...these days it's all about climate change!!

'Tell us how the big guy really finances this free toy give away scam and we might be willing to cut you a deal.'

'So you were born in a manger. This is a primitive area. I was born in a chicken coop.'