Holiday Myth Buster Pillows

It happened on Christmas Eve

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

'I hate all holidays!'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'How can anyone seriously believe that we sleep standing up and with our eyes open ,,,, Hello'

Yep the kids are loving the hotel they've made lots of new friends.

"My new day job is killing me."

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

T'was the night before the night before Christmas.

"Look, Phil, I can see your shadow!"

Meter Maid

'Sorry I'm late, miss. My alarm clock overslept.'

Santa's elevator

"I'll have an extra large conspiracy burger with anti-semitism, plenty of racism, stupidity and a load of crap."

'Why not just serve Thanksgiving dinner in the shoe department next year and be done with it??'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

Santa Claus doesn't exist because he got eaten up by zombie elves.

"You know, at any given moment, you're not more than 6 ft away from one of them."

"If this toy was made by Santa's elves at the North Pole, how come it says 'Made in China'."

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

Christmas Sale Special

'Hello, music production limited? I played your CD's backwards five or more times but I couldn't hear a single satanic message!'

The three semi-wise men actually rode alpacas and carried knitted gifts of sweaters, sox and underwear to the arid desert village of Bethlehem...

'Just attack him and steal the dang club, Vince! That 'rub the belly' thing is just a myth!'

'No, we don't get frequent flyer miles!'

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

"I guess this explains why everybody has had to buy their own Christmas presents since we were kids."

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'