Christmas Myths Pillows

No one cares any more whether you believe in Santa or not...these days it's all about climate change!!

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

"Hey Ed, take a look at this...more sleigh bells...what is this thing?"

It happened on Christmas Eve

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

'Skip the meal more room for dessert!'

'I spend the winter in Sarasota now, since I sold my entire list to telemarketers.'

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

Santa's elevator

"It's time we have a little chat."

"I'm sorry, Rudolph, but empathetic soulsource crystal navigation has made that nose of yours pretty much obsolete."

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

Chimney-Greasing Santa

'Illegal immigrant.'

Ghost of Happy Holidays Future

Book about the real meaning of Christmas is on sale.

'We're looking for a star, and I truly believe that star could be you...'

Naughty Or Nice? Didn't You Read My Blog, 'Playing By The Rules Is For Dummies?'

'Is there really a Santa Claus? That depends - are we talking about the man or the brand?'

'Did they have to stay in a stable because their family credit had been cut, like ours?'

"Ebenezer, relax – there are no 'spirits.' It was me, and I have to go outside."

"Looks like we won't be needing you this year...we got our own gifts!"

'Go to bed. I'm too busy to get into a debate over whether or not I exist.'

'So you were born in a manger. This is a primitive area. I was born in a chicken coop.'

Things are changing back like the old days!