Saloon Storyteller Gifts

"This hot tub isn't big enough for both of us either."

"That fellow over there would like to buy you a drink, have you refuse it, and then ask you to step outside for a moment."

'I was in one of them tooth for a tooth squabbles.'

"Bad news, PETA has unionized your cattle."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"What'll ya have?"

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Brewery Lorry has Saloon Doors.

"You must be new around here, pardner."

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

Cattlemans Saloon.

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

"Watch yourself, stranger. I've got an itchy trigger finger."

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

'Soon as the roundup is over and we head for a saloon we'll need a volunteer to be the designated drover.'

"Listen honey, I don't claim to be no expert but I reckon you're going about this cowpuncher thing the whole wrong way."

'Will that be brawling or non-brawling?' Brawl in saloon.

"Yeah, you can drawl the drawl, but can you mosey the mosey?"

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

"Listen...Tonight I'll decide when I've had enough"

Trigger Happy hour 5-6

'Oh sure, he's the fastest in the west alright, until it comes to buying a round.'

"I can write beautiful poems, but they all rhyme with gin."

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

"And don't ever try to use your smartphone during trivia night again!"

Trigger happy hour 6 - 7.

Saloon Selectives

Old West Saloon Has Revolving Door Put In

Slim's Baroque-Bach Saloon. I know you love classical music, Slim, but

"It's the Florida kid."

'Punch, kick, grapple, bite.' - 'Them's fightin' words!'