Saloon Storyteller T-Shirts

"This hot tub isn't big enough for both of us either."

"That fellow over there would like to buy you a drink, have you refuse it, and then ask you to step outside for a moment."

'I was in one of them tooth for a tooth squabbles.'

"Bad news, PETA has unionized your cattle."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"What'll ya have?"

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Brewery Lorry has Saloon Doors.

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

Cattlemans Saloon.

"You must be new around here, pardner."

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

"Watch yourself, stranger. I've got an itchy trigger finger."

"Listen honey, I don't claim to be no expert but I reckon you're going about this cowpuncher thing the whole wrong way."

'Soon as the roundup is over and we head for a saloon we'll need a volunteer to be the designated drover.'

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

"I can write beautiful poems, but they all rhyme with gin."

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

'Oh sure, he's the fastest in the west alright, until it comes to buying a round.'

"Listen...Tonight I'll decide when I've had enough"

"And don't ever try to use your smartphone during trivia night again!"

Saloon Selectives

Trigger happy hour 6 - 7.

Old West Saloon Has Revolving Door Put In

"They don't really say 'mooo'. It's more of a low, doleful, 'uuummmmggghhh'. Go ahead, try it."

'Punch, kick, grapple, bite.' - 'Them's fightin' words!'

"It's the Florida kid."

Careful Zeke... I think this guy has played before.

FOOD FIGHT AT THE OK CORRAL.

"Don't look a gift horse in the ass, either."