Salary Skeptic Pillows

"It's a fabulous deal. You'll make peanuts."

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

'Wagner, if I paid you what you're worth, you'd be working for nothing!'

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

Headphones Strip 16: Blasphemy

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

"We fell for this last time remember..."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

'I just don't get it. The new motivational posters aren't helping at all!'

Find the failed CEO who got a 200 million dollar bonus while being fired.

'It's a wonderful find, and yet there's something suspicious about it.'

'Such a small bonus.'

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

"You don't even look good on paper."

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'Before sending these ideas I have to the boss, run them past legal, my Ouija board and my magic 8 ball.'

'You know, folks, if they still haven't made you paranoid enough, here's something ELSE for you to think about.... What if Benghazi was just a DISTRACTION?'

"Sometimes I think I'm a victim of the 'Peter principle', I reached my real competence level some time ago..."

"We've got a vacancy for a church mouse, if you're interested?"

Ex-Banker: Can you spare the price of a cup of tea? Anything else is a bonus.

'Yeah, I couldn't make a lousy cent for days and I don't care about it! Got me, dude?'

'Is the 'living happily ever after' part just spin?'

"More to life than money..."

'Get in there, $1,500,000, and pinch-hit for $3,250,000'

"I never saved for a rainy day...I grew up shopping in an enclosed mall!"

'Instead of a pay raise, I hold a monthly poker tournament and pay the winner a pittance!'

'Your sense of entitlement is beginning to show.'

"Nope. I'm not falling for another Pyramid Scheme."