Money Skeptic Pillows

'Yeah, I couldn't make a lousy cent for days and I don't care about it! Got me, dude?'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

'There's no correlation to stock prices. It's just a 'feel good' graph.'

Euro fall...

A happy poor man is given money by a rich man and is no longer happy.

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

'Stocks dropped today, proving once again that life sucks.'

The private sector is a parasite on the economy.

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

"This investment will make a pile of money. Of course, a good question is 'for whom?'"

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Assets $2,400,000,000 Liabilities $4,6000,000,000 Government Bailout $2,200,000,000

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

How Supply-Side Economics Works.

"Have you ever wanted something so bad that you'd actually save up the money to buy it?"

Deposits Insured By The U.S. Government (which has a $29 Trillion Debt).

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

'We can tell the public, ' the good news is we've eliminated the middleman, The bad news is we've eliminated a lot of other jobs.''

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'