Money Management Skeptic Pillows

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'My piggy bank charged shaking fees.'

Counting my Bonus...

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

"This is Fluffy, my pet money."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."